Texting Does Not A Relationship Make :b

04 Oct 2011 Leave a comment

by patribella in RELATIONSHIPS

I will be the first one to admit that I rely on texting quite frequently. For updates, to touch base with people, to confirm a times, places, addresses or phone numbers. It’s even okay for quickie lil’ chats or hello’s. But…and that’s a big BUT…… Text messaging was not meant to carry on full fledged conversations…..let alone relationships!

Examples Of When Text Messaging Is Just Not Right…..

SCENARIO: If You’ve Met a Man/ Woman….and the primary lifeline to your new relationship is Texting?

REALITY: They are not serious about getting to know you…..but don’t want to cut communication all together because they want to keep you as an option

SOLUTION: Walk Away…..they haven’t yet become a part of your life yet…..so nip it in the bud now

SCENARIO: You have a good friend that always reply’s to you by Text rather then just dialing your number to hear your voice

REALITY: They simply can’t be bothered with you….but don’t want to blow you off completely.

SOLUTION: Don’t bother reaching out to them anymore…..let them do the reaching…and if they don’t, their loss

SCENARIO: You need to have a serious discussion with someone and you find yourself trying to hash it out over a series of text messages

REALITY: They know this and are doing whatever they can to avoid getting into a deep conversation about it…..or any discussion at all.

SOLUTION: You’re simply not a priority in their life or on their friendship list…..as they are putting their convenience over your feelings. So look for your own answers in your question…..if you have to ask why someone is trivializing you or your feelings…….the question in itself is all the answer you need.

FURTHER MORE, TEXTING SHOULD NEVER TAKE PLACE…….

– While Driving

– At The Dinner Table

– In Church……For Those Of You That Know What That Is lol….

– While Having Coffee or Conversation With Someone Else Who Is Sitting Right In Front Of You

– While On A Date

*I will excuse the little texting monsters in my life becuase I love you all…….but expect me to call you on it when I see it! ; )

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE FROM THE SINGLE GIRL….

12 Sep 2011 2 Comments

by patribella in RELATIONSHIPS Tags: , , , , ,

Ironically, considering the fact that I’m single….you would not believe how often I’m called upon for relationship advice…..and don’t be fooled….it’s not always the girls calling with relationship dilemmas ; )

But I don’t think it’s my relationship status that matters so much as the way I form and maintain relationships in general. Love, Friendships, Family……it’s all the same at the end of the day.

I recently had a friend call me to say her boyfriend had taken on a 2nd girlfriend and should she break up with him or try to be supportive of his decision.
Hmmm, my silent response, in the ‘little bubble above my head’, was…
“WAIT! WHAT?! Are you crazy!?!”
But my verbal response was ” Sweetie, in your heart, you already know the answer to your own question….if you think that’s the best you deserve in life, then go ahead….but I think you know better”.

Truth be told…..most people who seek relationship advice already know the answers to their own questions……they are just looking for affirmation……or more sadly, someone to give them a reason…any small, slightly rational, mini-micro reason to justify sticking it out in an unhealthy relationship.

They say Relationships/Marriage require a lot of work…..sorry people, that’s a crock…….
Yes, Love requires compromise……but it should never be a constant struggle. The ratio of bad times should never be greater than those of the good.
The reality is……if a relationship doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. It doesn’t matter how enthusiastically you try to make it work or how much you believe it can be made to work, it simply can’t work and won’t ever work……and no amount of love and desire…….or history……or wishes upon shooting stars can change that.

No one is doing themselves any favors by sacrificing their own happiness in a struggle to maintain something that, if most people are honest, never quite worked from the beginning.

Yes, it hurts…..It’s hard to acknowledge that something you wanted so badly just isn’t what you thought it would be….but it’s a hell of a lot easier than looking back on all the time you’ve wasted.

I read this post in a friends feed a few months ago……

“Don’t Repeat Old Chapters….the Ending of the Story Will Never Change”

Omg, So simple…..so true.

We’ve all done it at some point in our lives, ‘held on’……
As many times as I’ve seen the Titanic, every time I hope for a different ending, lol……..but no matter how many times I watch that movie…they are still going to hit the iceberg, Jack is still going to freeze to death…and no one is ever going to find the diamond! Moooove on Patricia……..

So this is Life……People hurt us….Loves, Family, Friends….sometimes it’s intentional…..
sometimes it’s not…… sometimes we never know why.

So pick up people…..move on…..clear your heads…..be happy……don’t dwell…..don’t settle for anything less than what you put into it…….stop expending positive energy on negative people……and most importantly……Love Someone Who Deserves Your Love!!!

xoxoxo

PS: The Above Does Not Apply To Those Who…..

-Live in La La Land….
-Love an Extreeeeme Challenge
-Believe that Constant Conflict Keeps a Relationship Interesting ( lol…that’s a funny one )
-Masochists, Martyrs, etc…..