Ask Me I've Been There……

Ironically, considering the fact that I’m single….you would not believe how often I’m called upon for relationship advice…..and don’t be fooled….it’s not always the girls calling with relationship dilemmas ; )

But I don’t think it’s my relationship status that matters so much as the way I form and maintain relationships in general. Love, Friendships, Family……it’s all the same at the end of the day.

I recently had a friend call me to say her boyfriend had taken on a 2nd girlfriend and should she break up with him or try to be supportive of his decision.
Hmmm, my silent response, in the ‘little bubble above my head’, was…
“WAIT! WHAT?! Are you crazy!?!”
But my verbal response was ” Sweetie, in your heart, you already know the answer to your own question….if you think that’s the best you deserve in life, then go ahead….but I think you know better”.

Truth be told…..most people who seek relationship advice already know the answers to their own questions……they are just looking for affirmation……or more sadly, someone to give them a reason…any small, slightly rational, mini-micro reason to justify sticking it out in an unhealthy relationship.

They say Relationships/Marriage require a lot of work…..sorry people, that’s a crock…….
Yes, Love requires compromise……but it should never be a constant struggle. The ratio of bad times should never be greater than those of the good.
The reality is……if a relationship doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. It doesn’t matter how enthusiastically you try to make it work or how much you believe it can be made to work, it simply can’t work and won’t ever work……and no amount of love and desire…….or history……or wishes upon shooting stars can change that.

No one is doing themselves any favors by sacrificing their own happiness in a struggle to maintain something that, if most people are honest, never quite worked from the beginning.

Yes, it hurts…..It’s hard to acknowledge that something you wanted so badly just isn’t what you thought it would be….but it’s a hell of a lot easier than looking back on all the time you’ve wasted.

I read this post in a friends feed a few months ago……

“Don’t Repeat Old Chapters….the Ending of the Story Will Never Change”

Omg, So simple…..so true.

We’ve all done it at some point in our lives, ‘held on’……
As many times as I’ve seen the Titanic, every time I hope for a different ending, lol……..but no matter how many times I watch that movie…they are still going to hit the iceberg, Jack is still going to freeze to death…and no one is ever going to find the diamond! Moooove on Patricia……..

So this is Life……People hurt us….Loves, Family, Friends….sometimes it’s intentional…..
sometimes it’s not…… sometimes we never know why.

So pick up people…..move on…..clear your heads…..be happy……don’t dwell…..don’t settle for anything less than what you put into it…….stop expending positive energy on negative people……and most importantly……Love Someone Who Deserves Your Love!!!

xoxoxo

PS: The Above Does Not Apply To Those Who…..

-Live in La La Land….
-Love an Extreeeeme Challenge
-Believe that Constant Conflict Keeps a Relationship Interesting ( lol…that’s a funny one )
-Masochists, Martyrs, etc…..